im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
