ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
