I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
