hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
