I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
