are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
