why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
