don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
