so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
