one two three fourrrrnication!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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