so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
