Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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