I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
