I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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