i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
