Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
