please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
