peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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