He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
