I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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