Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
