Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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