dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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