he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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