love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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