All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
