Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
