I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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