Banned from zoo.
Again?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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