It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
