don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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