20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
