literally had 100 drinks last night.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
