Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
two words...techno handjob
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
