i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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