Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize