She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
