marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
