im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize