bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
