How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Randomize