I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
