he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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