We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize