your room smells of hookers.
And success
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
