You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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