haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
