Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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