At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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