she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
zippers are such a cool invention
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
