That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
