he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize