The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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