So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
