So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
