Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
