Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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