Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
