Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
