in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
