So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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