just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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