I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
