well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
